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Vierkant Ei

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Vandaag werd de laatste voorronde gehouden voor de verkiezing van Het Vierkante Ei, een wedstrijd voor amateurkunstenaars, uitgeschreven door de Volkskrant met medewerking van diverse musea en omroepen. Via mijn werk kreeg ik er een beetje mee te maken. De paniek als het deelnameformulier niet was aangekomen, de foto van het werk niet goed was overkomen en waar de ontvangstbevestiging bleef. Een wedstrijd voor amateurkunstenaars levert misschien nog wel meer stress op dan een soortgelijke happening voor profs. Je gaat tenslotte nogal met de billen bloot; je werk wordt, misschien wel voor het eerst, gezien door heel veel mensen en (help! ) als de wedstrijd gewonnen wordt, kom je gewoon op tv. Tussen de professionele kunstenaars en daar sta je dan toch maar, live en wel. De eerste keer dat mijn foto's aan een openbare wand kwamen te hangen, wilde ik het liefst doen alsof ik er nooit iets mee te maken had gehad. Onzekerheid en trots is een rare mengeling.
Dus het was spannend bij die voorrondes. Mensen liepen onzeker rond met hun grote schat, moesten hun werk overleveren aan mensen die het voor hen zouden ophangen of neerzetten. En dan komt er ook nog een jury langs die gaat vragen naar het hoe en waarom.
Ik ben niet tot het laatst gebleven, ik had er al een werkdag opzitten en wilde naar huis. Ik heb dus geen jury of voorronde-winnaars gezien. Dus ik zit net als jullie zondag 25 november voor de buis, als de Volkskrant Beeldende Kunstprijs wordt uitgereikt. Want in diezelfde uitzending wordt de winnaar van het Vierkante Ei bekend gemaakt. Kijken en meeleven dus.

Oja, en de kersverse stagiaire ving iedereen op alsof ze nooit anders had gedaan. Ze had de zon natuurlijk wel mee.

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Onzekerheid en trots hebben veel met elkaar te maken. iemand die geen trots heeft is ook niet zo bang om een figuur te slaan.
Zoals Bomans al eens zei: verlegenheid kan een vorm van hoogmoed zijn.
(zonder dat ik nu wil beweren dat dat ook altijd zo is)

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